"All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy, While I just hurt and hide, waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide" Sara Bareilles
Once again I'm in that place where I'm saying, "Should I do a blog post?" "What should it be about?"
I seriously have an An Unquiet Mind so many ideas about what to write about- just so many ideas period- if my head could explode, I think it would-Thank God it can't!
So perhaps I'll flip a coin? I read that in a little book I purchased at my church called "Today...I Will"- it's by Matt Walls and Michael Tally. But it is in the Bible, but in there it's called, "Casting lots" and Gideon that "great man of valor" laid out a fleece. (Judges 6)
But I didn't flip the coin about what to blog about but with regards to another decision I made last Tuesday. Last Tuesday I was excited about this Bible Study/training opportunity coming up next month called, "Run for God"- it starts on September 20th. I already had asked Bob about it and he said I could do it. He only complained abit about the cost. ($60.00 which includes the materials- book , shirt, 5K race at the end) Bob has a thing though about paying to run, he's like just go out and run--it's free! But I got him on that one cause he pays $80.00 to play soccer! What?! For some reason I decided to flip a coin about this "Run for God" thing---so I did and the coin landed on, "No"...What?! Ok best out of three? No, no is no. There's no point in doing this if you don't believe God can speak to you in this way, OK? So, then I was like, "But God why? I thought this was You? There's nothing wrong with doing this." But then I remembered something; I had thought God (a few years ago) wanted me to get involved in our Celebrate Recovery ministry at my church (which is on Thursday nights like the Bible Study)---but I felt as if He was saying, "Wait" Being BiPolar and I guess just being me, I have, in the past, taken on too many things...good things perhaps....Oh they need help in the nursery, I'll do that...they need help in Awanas....I'll do that...my kids HAVE to play.....I should help out with....OK now I'm gona explode again! Lately, I've seen this in myself in just little things...oh they need help moving....my friend needs help cleaning up her house....these are all "GOOD" things, right? But then the Devil has made a liar out of me! I don't have time to do everything I decide I want to do! Where was God when I decided to do all this stuff? Right there waiting to be asked, "God, do YOU want me to..." Why not even ask the hubby? So many women, myself included get all "bent outa shape" about the "obeying your husband" thing in the Bible but sometimes this can be very freeing...."OK you want my help with....?" "Let me ask my husband about that" Go ahead and give me that weird look.....I no longer care! Now THAT is very freeing also and leads to my next point: Don't just do stuff to please people! God is the only One we need to please!
“For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? or am I striving to please men? if I were still pleasing men, I should not be a servant of Christ.” Paul the apostle (Galatians 1:10)
I received a call that (Tuesday) afternoon right before heading out the door that a family member I've been praying for is ready to get help for her alcoholism! Getting involved in Celebrate Recovery will surely aid me in how to better support her in staying sober. If that was not enough, God also confirmed I had made the right decision when I got to hear Bruce Goddard speak again! He is the author whose link I put on last months blog post- Six Feet Under
God is continually teaching me! And I'm so thankful for that because I need all the help I can get! I've mentioned before Joyce Meyer's book, "Approval Addiction" but more than just reading a book, there have been things in my life happening that have caused me to ask myself hard questions and made me see I haven't progressed as far as I had thought! Wait a minute! I fell for that?! Who would've thought? I am pitiful!!!! But when we are in a place where we can admit our weaknesses, it's right where God wants us! He wants us to be dependant on Him. He wants us to trust Him. (Proverbs 3:5-6) He wants us to have faith in Him (Hebrews 11:6)
For an example of one of these lessons: What if your child seems to reject you? Unfriends you or worse blocks you? lol What if they say you were a bad parent? I've discovered that much of my significance is tied up in what I do---well, duh! If I fail at being a good wife and mother---that is my main job! I've failed miserably! But what a person says or thinks about me shouldn't define me, even if that person is someone I love very much. I need to ask God what He thinks! Perhaps there are changes I should make? But I can't get "out of balance" and place too much importance on what mere people think of me. Also I'm learning to NOT just sit back and take it when my children are disrespectful of me. If they want to LIVE they're gona have to R-E-S-P-E-C-T their mama! (Exodus 20:12) Bob is also getting better about getting onto them about this.
Then again...there's Bob....sometimes even a spouse's opinion can carry too much weight . What if your spouse wants you to seek a job that you don't feel is in the direction God wants you to go? What do you do?. Jesus said, "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me." (Matthew 10:37) Not to contradict myself----there is a balance here also! Bob is not asking me to sin. He wants me to get the job which pays the most...like maybe as a receptionist at the hospital (I was a receptionist at a Drs office before Sarah was born) but I want to seek being a substitute teacher in Peach and/or Houston County and he said I can still seek to do that, so I'm seeking both and trying to be equally enthusiastic about either one---maybe a compromise could be Wal-Mart or Target? I'd love to work at Gottwalks Book Store, but then I'd have to have extra self-control (Because I can tend to buy too many books!). And, most importantly, I need to trust God! I started to get mad at Bob because I started thinking I wouldn't have any time to write, but God will lead me! I know God wants me to keep writing and He wants me to obey my husband (as long as he's not being abusive or asking me to sin- and he's NOT) so, one day at a time....as Dr. Seuss said "Life's a Great Balancing Act" ("Oh, The Places You'll Go")
The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe. Proverbs 29:24-25
What if someone seems to think you hung the moon or something? You can't let that go to your head either. I love a good complement! I think that perhaps the many actors, actresses, music "Idols" have often ended up going down the wrong path because of this, perhaps the fame went to their head? When they could no longer get their "fame fix" because they were old or "washed up" they needed to turn to something else for their "high" and who can blame them? Being "on top" with your name in lights must be very intoxicating! And access to all that cash sure doesn't help the addict! It is said that Whitney Houston squandered her multimillion-dollar fortune on drugs, before she passed away last February. This is so sad! I just found out that today (8-31-12) is a day to remember those who died from their addictions.
This all brings to mind a favorite quote of mine on humility:If we were humble nothing would change us- neither praise nor discouragement. If someone were to criticize us, we would not feel discouraged. If someone would praise us, we also would not feel proud. Mother Teresa
Now that's BALANCE!
THE GOOD IS THE ENEMY OF THE BEST! In Luke chapter ten Martha was working hard: that's "GOOD" , isn't it? But what was her motivation? God sees our hearts! That can be both upsetting and reassuring, can't it? And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10: 41-42
I consider myself blessed in so many ways, but I don't want to be stupid with the blessings God gives me. I don't want to squander (or misuse) God's precious gifts! Nor should I bury it in the sand like that, "wicked and lazy servant" in the Bible. (Matthew 25:14-30) I used to think, "Well God isn't that harsh? He didn't lose it." Well he did in the end! (See verse 28) "If you don't use it, you lose it"
One of God's gifts is time and in Ephesians it says, "See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is." Ephesians 5:15-17
"The time is short, and God is looking for people who are serious about His kingdom. He wants to empower you to walk in purity and proclaim the gospel throughout the earth." – Brother Yun Living WaterThus says the Lord, your Redeemer, The Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, Who teaches you to profit, Who leads you by the way you should go." Isaiah 48:17
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Psalm 32:8
Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left. Isaiah 30:21