Friday, October 22, 2010

An Unquiet Mind

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty. 2 Cor 4:2

Well, whew, it’s been busy over here at the Seven Story House. We once again have had some toddlers running around…such fun! They’re the one year old and two year old sons of a friend- a joy and a challenge, as probably all children are- I know mine were and are!

I’ve had many ideas of what to write here swarming around in my head and I have a limited amount of time to write….I’ve decided to write about why (the swarm in my head) that is…I think it’s because I’m BiPolar and have what Kay Redfield Jamison PHD, calls, “An Unquiet Mind”.

I’ve always just been straightforward in my writing, I don’t beat around the bush, I call a spade, a spade. I love Joyce Meyer (who is also straightforward) and I listen to her CDs about everyday, when I’m driving around to pick up my kids or working out in my basement. A few months ago, she sent an offer in the mail of a DVD of her testimony; it’s about her being sexually, verbally, mentally and physically abused by her dad. I highly recommend this DVD or any of her materials! In this offer came an usual book mark- it was transparent- made of plastic – you could SEE through it- and it says, THE POWER OF TRANSPARENCY- at the bottom is a verse from the book of Revelation, “They overcame him (the enemy) by…the word of their testimony….” (12:11) Just as Joyce does and Kay, I’m hoping my testimony will help someone else. I once spoke with a Christian singer who had shared that God healed him of BiPolar and he was able to go off medication--- well, I just hope and pray no BiPolar person hears this, goes off his medication and dies! I said, it was fine how this man shared HIS testimony, but he should add that God doesn’t heal everyone the same way and perhaps he could say he met a woman in Warner Robins Georgia who was healed through medication. I feel as though, instead of being “out of control”, not sleeping etc. my “Unquiet Mind” is “harnessed”, so to speak and I can better use this controlled “fire” to glorify God! I hope and pray so! I’m so happy that I’m not what I was when untreated! I'm glad I can say as Lewis Carroll (“Alice in Wonderland”) said, “I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then.” Sleeping well is really great too! “He gives His beloved sleep” Ps. 127

Kay Redfield Jamison says, “I have no idea what the long- term effects of discussing such issues so openly will be on my personal and professional life, but, whatever the consequences, they are bound to be better than continuing to be silent. I’m tired of hiding, tired of misspent and knotted energies, tired of hypocrisy, and tired of acting as though I have something to hide. One is what one is, and the dishonesty of hiding behind a degree, or a title, or any manner or collection of words, is still exactly that: dishonest.”

Father, cleanse me from twisted thinking and deceptive ways so that I will come to love truth and reflect it in my thoughts, in my actions and in my words. Give me the courage to speak the truth, the selflessness to relinquish concern about pleasing people. But let me speak truth only in love. Catherine Marshall and Leonard LeSourd, “My Personal Prayer Diary”

Lord, as Your light of understanding penetrates my unconsciousness , I am discovering how much “acceptance” of dishonesty has crept on me unawares. I have not always been vigilant against deception, in fact, have sometimes condoned it in others when I saw my own desires mirrored in them.
Thank-you Lord, for making it clear that it is only as I stand firmly for open honesty in my personal life shall I be free to confront dishonesty wherever I find it. Catherine Marshall and Leonard LeSourd, “My Personal Prayer Diary”

'But I don't want to go among mad people,' said Alice. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the cat. 'We're all mad here.'
Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland"

Here is my most recent post about Bipolar Disorder: Monsters

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