Friday, May 15, 2020

About Me and Why I have a Patreon account

I've been updating my Patreon account which you can check out here.

It's a whole new world!
It's a different story than I started to tell.

I'm 53 and I was married for 30 years to someone who I now believe to be a vulnerable narcissist. I used to be a Christian wife/stay at home mom. I have five grown kids with the said narc. I was an Airbnb host for 1 year and 8 months. I am an #Exevangelical. I've been through a lot and I write about it and it's cathartic. My ex and I separated in 2014 but lived together until 2016. I published my first book of poetry in 2015 with Amazon. It's called, "The Seven Story Tree". There's much in it that addresses many different issues like depression, addiction, divorce, religion and spirituality. I take inspiration from The Bible, movies, popular music, poets and authors. "The Seven Story Tree" has five stars on Amazon.

                             This is what the old first edition cover of "The Seven Story Tree" looked like.

 My book from 2017 is actually a poem from "The Seven Story Tree" called, "What Elephant?" it's a children's book that was illustrated and published with Page Publishing who I PAID over 3k and then they only paid me $2.79 for each book I sold online and said I only sold four copies in 2017! Then I ended up seeing my book for sale all over the internet but they ended up only giving me royalties for FOUR books! I am furious and would like to sue them but financially I am unable to at this time. You can read more about that story here.

I had to find and hire and new lawyer for my divorce because the first one I hired was so shady (Danielle D. D' Eor-Hynes): she without my knowledge DID NOT put alimony in my paper work after a 30 year marriage where he wanted me to stay home with the children NOT have a life of my own. He only wanted me to get a job at the end because that was really the only legitimate complaint he had against me, like I didn't contribute. I fired Hynes after she berated me (as my ex and kids had) when I first met her for not trying hard enough to find a job, it was AFTER I already fired her that I learned about the alimony not even being in the paperwork (My ex had told me but I didn't believe him and I believe he was angry as he hates lawyers and didn't want to have to get one- he ended up getting a lawyer he played soccer with to help him- the only thing he did not want to give me was alimony- so IF I stayed with the shady lawyer he wouldn't need to contest anything!) BTW the ex is an engineer for the Air Force (civil service- 30 years) so he can afford to pay me alimony most of which goes towards my bills for this house (taxes, insurance, water, electricity) and credit card debt which I will explain, read on. Also in 2016 I traded in my Toyota sequoia (Suzy Q) It got horrible gas milage and at this point, the driver's side door wouldn't close and Toyota said it would be about 500$ to fix.  My in-laws gave us the money for this and the ex picked it out as he did ALL of my cars. I got a 2011 chevy malibu (Malibu Sue). This was the first car I ever picked out MYSELF as my dad bought and picked out my first car when I was 18 and I married my ex at 19 and he picked out every car (suburban, minivan etc) for me after that- so I have a car payment now also.

I moved out of our big house in 2016 and continued to apply and interview for many and various jobs. I started donating blood plasma twice a week in 2016 also. Sometimes my protein gets too low and I can't for a while but when I can it helps a lot. I can make $70.00 a week, sometimes more when they offer bonuses. I made $3785.00 in 2019 at BioLife, mostly I use that money for gas and food. Now I am doing this again (May 2020)

I traveled more since my separation because my ex wouldn't take me anywhere (And also didn't want me to go anywhere) but to visit our families: convenient (and vaca like) because they live in Florida and California. He said (when I brought up my desire to travel) for me to get my passport though, that he'd take me on a cruise for our 25th Wedding Anniversary; that was in 2011. I was finally able to use that passport in 2014 (AFTER we separated) because my sister-in-law invited me to go to Niagara Falls with her and we walked over the Rainbow Bridge to Canada.

                                              Niagara Falls 2014

Then I used that passport several more times until 2019:  I went on my first cruise in July of 2017 to the Bahamas (The Jesus Freak Cruise), then right after I went on my first Missions trip to Mexico with the Newsboys. (God's Not Dead Missions- where we get to build cool little houses for the poor) If I had not started doing Airbnb in 2017 I would NOT have been able to go anywhere in 2018. It was because of someone I met on that first cruise that I got a deal on my second which was the K-Love cruise in January of 2018 (To the Bahamas again).

The Bahamas 2017 my first time seeing them although back in the 80s when I lived in Boca Raton my mom and dad took my sister and her bf
                         The house I helped build in Mexico: 2018

The fiesta on the last day in Mexico. (it's four days) They entertain and feed many people! And we help out!

 And then the summer of 2018 I drove to California to do the Switchfoot getaway and visit some of my family out there, then I went on the Newsboys Mission trip to Baja California for the second (and probably the last time for me).

The Switchfoot Getaway 2018 (I did visit family too, while I was in California- those photos are on my facebook- I am not sharing them here)

I was supposed to go on another K-Love cruise in January of 2019 but because of financial difficulty and not being able to leave my Home business (Airbnb) I sold it to a friend I knew from the Missions trip. Since that trip to California and Mexico I haven't been able to travel much except down to Disney for a few days with a friend. I used to manage our finances and we had good credit which I used for these trips and to pay Page Publisher's to publish, "What Elephant?" also to pay my shady lawyer (Danielle D. D' Eor-Hynes "There is much love for you here" lol) who I had to fire. I also had got a Lowes card which I used for materials and things I needed for this old house. In my divorce settlement I got alimony because I hired a new attorney (who I paid with a credit card account I opened in my name only) who re-filed the paperwork with the court house but I also got these other credit cards that I had to pay off myself- which was fair but also made my debt double from 20K to 40K.

I did some temp jobs but always continued writing: I started renting out rooms in our smaller house that I live in with Airbnb and did that from November 2017 until July 2019. There are numerous reasons I stopped doing Airbnb: some in this blog post and some in that post about Mo.  I continued to try for a "regular" job and even drove for Uber and Lyft for a short while. I started doing Airbnb because I couldn't find a "regular" job. What I found really amusing is that   Danielle D. D' Eor-Hynes (my shady ex lawyer) COPIED ME and opened her own Airbnb in her home! Perhaps her "real job" isn't going so well?

Red's Airbnb......The shower picture is when I got the 2nd bathroom in working order (January 2018) because the shower and toilet were leaking- so that I no longer had to share a bathroom with my Airbnb guests! Yay! I paid for that with a credit card that I opened in my name only.

 My divorce was finally final in September 2018. Now I am planning on selling the house which now belongs to me, paying off my debt and buying an RV to travel around in while I decide on where I want to settle. I'm learning and growing and would like to do more on YouTube and find a literary agent and a real publisher to publish my work!

Please listen to the latest in this story: Page Publishing is suing ME (ME????) for 1 Million Dollars!

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Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Saturday, March 28, 2020

The Apple Does Not Fall Far From the Tree! Another Frienemy

She ignored my questions about where? From who? and how much did she pay? Those were from March 14th. Then on the 27th of March I sent the message about, "We shouldn't be friends...." The other messages are from March 28th and after I sent her the last one, I blocked her. Her and her daughter are very very SAD and PATHETIC.

 Here's more to my previous post
So the lady I made friends with because she bought an item from me on facebook ended being the mom of an enemy from the church I was at 18 years ago, her daughter was one of the women that made sure to get three deacons to come escort me and my one year old baby out of church! So I THOUGHT it was all a coincidence but now I believe it was all planned! Another thing I recently discovered is her daughter who has a different last name now has me blocked on facebook, but why? I'm not looking her up, harassing her or want to "friend" her after 18 years? There was NO facebook then! I was not even thinking about her, seeing her or anything! So why block me now? So her mom can buy something from me on facebook, befriend me and bullshit and harass me, I guess? And she had me going! I really thought she was doing these things by accident! But then she said I should change my book! Then I finally realized. I've said this poem that I've memorized all over, in Mexico, the Bahamas, all over the US, it makes women cry and people paid me 20 bucks for "The Seven Story Tree" which that poem is in, when it was only $7.00 on Amazon back then! I have learned an important lesson though; I'm NOT going to sell myself short anymore! I'm worth being treated right! I should have people pay me for my books. I gave away way too many! I am worth having my friends and family respect me! If they don't then I'll let them go.

 Read here about why my REAL FRIENDS know not to get my, "What Elephant?" book on Amazon.

                                           My review of "What Elephant?" on Amazon:

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Friday, March 20, 2020

The Church Reunion, Being Brave and Staying Safe

 So practice and observe everything they tell you, but do not do as they do; for they preach, but do not practice them. Matthew 23:3

I made a few friends through selling stuff on facebook. Then I found out one of them was related to a person from my past: 

Recent texts with a friend:

Me: Hey I've had a crazy night -omg

Guy Friend: Good or bad kinda crazy? 

Me: I went square dancing with my new friend and found out her daughter is this woman I knew from church years ago and all these ppl from back then were at square dancing. It's a long crazy story.....

It's kinda like a weird dream- ever have one of those? Lol

Did I ever tell you I was kicked out of three churches in the area? (This is kinda an exaggeration because it was ONE church in 2002 and TWO Celebrate Recovery's: Shady Grove and Southside Baptist Church in 2014 and those last two were because of Charlie B. and Sandy H.) I'm that crazy lol not really- they are that bad well it's a long story and this person I saw tonight had a part in the first one.

Guy friend: Sounds like quite an adventure lol

Me: It was......I was telling my friend the story on the way home


Me: And it's just so hilarious this will sound made up but listen! I was escorted out of church by three deacons for gossiping about the pastor then after we left my oldest  is watching Dr Phil one day and says "Mom come here!" And guess who is on there? The church (same church I was kicked out of) secretary and her husband and she's fell in love with a woman and left him! Well, they got back together and he taught me how to square dance tonight!  True story- yee haw! 


Guy friend: LMAO 

Note: It is not my intention to bad mouth these people who went on Dr Phil but just to show the hypocrisy of the leadership for having me escorted out of church. (Trust me we were NOT going to continue going there) It is interesting to note, however, that there were four of us ladies (about my age and abit older) from this old church who were married at that time and of the four of us (me included) ONLY the one who was on Dr Phil is still married to the same man. JS (Maybe being open and honest IS helpful after all?)

 BTW: I didn't continue at square dancing (I only wanted to try it out anyway) and of course now it's been canceled like everything else. It was honestly triggering to see all these people again and I knew (beyond the shadow of a doubt) 18 years ago that I no longer wanted to see these people every week!

 Being Brave....

Facebook status March 17, 2020

Ya all I’m tenacious, long suffering and (too) forgiving! I’ve been through the ringer! When I think of what went down in the Church I was at 20 years ago- that we went on to another Church to more dysfunctional crap.....but it was just what was familiar to me! I’m looking forward to moving on, eventually getting out of this town and down the line learning to have healthy relationships with my friends (now) AND my children (I guess later) but we all need to forgive one another- I’m not saying I was perfect -far from it - but I’m no longer taking all the blame and being the scapegoat either! It’s a long, complicated story and I didn’t really want to relive it but things kept happening to remind me as if Someone was saying, “Susan you need to write this” Like someone running for city council (Charlie B.)......then square dancing?! of all things! Just continuing to run into people but -wait -why is this weird? Cause I’ve been in this area for 30 years and these people -some of whom I haven’t seen in 18 years! (It was 2002 actually when we left that church) And I was reminded again today when a Sara Bareilles song came on the radio:! She sang, “Say what you wanna say, let the words come out -honestly - I wanna see you be brave!” And with my divorce it was similar, I know some will disagree but I HAD to get ANGRY in order to get away from the abuse and it honestly always aids me in my writing process!

  Status Today (March 20, 2020)

So as if I even needed another sign. (I definitely DIDN'T but thanks) Today I awoke to a comment from my fellow gossiper from 18 years ago! (To the post ABOVE: March 17th) I should "give it to God. Just be me and live my best life." (Thank -you- I am! I also "gave it to God" probably a million times! Why don't He keep it!?) Is she having an "attack of conscience" after 18 years? YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ESCORTED OUT OF CHURCH WITH ME, GIRL! (She's the one that asked me, "What's going on?" and you know why? Because of the Pastor's comments in his sermon!) That was the church we left in 2002 and I questioned whether to even include it in my recent Spiritual abuse story from 2012 and 2014 which mainly has to do with people (namely Charlie B. and his sidekick Sandy H.) from "Celebrate Recovery" at Southside Baptist Church here in Warner Robins and Shady Grove in Byron. I'm not naming the church even from 18 years ago because it's a very different church now, with totally different leadership. BUT the stories are very much connected to each other and you will understand that as I reveal the story to you. I had blogged some about both incidents already but I took those posts down recently, I now will decide if I want to put them back up or put excerpts in my new blog post(s).

BTW- I responded by saying that she should have gave it to God instead of responding here, that she didn't have a clue and said "I am being me and living my best life. Are you?" and then I unfriended her. I was on facebook when she read that cause she liked my response but then deleted her comment. lol  

Stay Safe......

Also from today (March 20, 2020):

So with my extra time at home I'm going to be writing! Yay! I was born for this, baby! And it's TRUE STORIES because I couldn't have made this shit up! TRUTH IS stranger than fiction! Blog posts yes, also videos here and on Youtube and ig but it will all end up in my poems and songs and eventually be another book! RED (My THIRD book- 2nd book of poetry) is close (so close) to being complete (PERFECT TIME TO FINISH IT UP) I was going to publish that (In 2018) with Amazon like I did "The Seven Story Tree" which btw I have ordered copies and will be selling them (signed by the author: ME) on facebook marketplace very soon!

I shared this comment on March 18, 2020 with a picture with a button that said, "Be safe. I need you here with me": I tried so hard to stop being the annoying mom- To figure out what I was doing wrong- If I were talking to my kids or they were talking to me they'd know what I'd say.....But I guess we found out we don't "need" each other anymore BUT I want all five of you to BE SAFE, STAY ALIVE and BE HAPPY I LOVE YOU


To read more about this Church reunion, that I now think WAS planned, go here

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