It's a different story than I started to tell.
I'm 53 and I was married for 30 years to someone who I now believe to be a vulnerable narcissist. I used to be a Christian wife/stay at home mom. I have five grown kids with the said narc. I was an Airbnb host for 1 year and 8 months. I am an #Exevangelical. I've been through a lot and I write about it and it's cathartic. My ex and I separated in 2014 but lived together until 2016. I published my first book of poetry in 2015 with Amazon. It's called, "The Seven Story Tree". There's much in it that addresses many different issues like depression, addiction, divorce, religion and spirituality. I take inspiration from The Bible, movies, popular music, poets and authors. "The Seven Story Tree" has five stars on Amazon.
My book from 2017 is actually a poem from "The Seven Story Tree" called, "What Elephant?" it's a children's book that was illustrated and published with Page Publishing who I PAID over 3k and then they only paid me $2.79 for each book I sold online and said I only sold four copies in 2017! Then I ended up seeing my book for sale all over the internet but they ended up only giving me royalties for FOUR books! I am furious and would like to sue them but financially I am unable to at this time. You can read more about that story here.
I had to find and hire and new lawyer for my divorce because the first one I hired was so shady (Danielle D. D' Eor-Hynes): she without my knowledge DID NOT put alimony in my paper work after a 30 year marriage where he wanted me to stay home with the children NOT have a life of my own. He only wanted me to get a job at the end because that was really the only legitimate complaint he had against me, like I didn't contribute. I fired Hynes after she berated me (as my ex and kids had) when I first met her for not trying hard enough to find a job, it was AFTER I already fired her that I learned about the alimony not even being in the paperwork (My ex had told me but I didn't believe him and I believe he was angry as he hates lawyers and didn't want to have to get one- he ended up getting a lawyer he played soccer with to help him- the only thing he did not want to give me was alimony- so IF I stayed with the shady lawyer he wouldn't need to contest anything!) BTW the ex is an engineer for the Air Force (civil service- 30 years) so he can afford to pay me alimony most of which goes towards my bills for this house (taxes, insurance, water, electricity) and credit card debt which I will explain, read on. Also in 2016 I traded in my Toyota sequoia (Suzy Q) It got horrible gas milage and at this point, the driver's side door wouldn't close and Toyota said it would be about 500$ to fix. My in-laws gave us the money for this and the ex picked it out as he did ALL of my cars. I got a 2011 chevy malibu (Malibu Sue). This was the first car I ever picked out MYSELF as my dad bought and picked out my first car when I was 18 and I married my ex at 19 and he picked out every car (suburban, minivan etc) for me after that- so I have a car payment now also.
I moved out of our big house in 2016 and continued to apply and interview for many and various jobs. I started donating blood plasma twice a week in 2016 also. Sometimes my protein gets too low and I can't for a while but when I can it helps a lot. I can make $70.00 a week, sometimes more when they offer bonuses. I made $3785.00 in 2019 at BioLife, mostly I use that money for gas and food. Now I am doing this again (May 2020)
I traveled more since my separation because my ex wouldn't take me anywhere (And also didn't want me to go anywhere) but to visit our families: convenient (and vaca like) because they live in Florida and California. He said (when I brought up my desire to travel) for me to get my passport though, that he'd take me on a cruise for our 25th Wedding Anniversary; that was in 2011. I was finally able to use that passport in 2014 (AFTER we separated) because my sister-in-law invited me to go to Niagara Falls with her and we walked over the Rainbow Bridge to Canada.
Niagara Falls 2014
Then I used that passport several more times until 2019: I went on my first cruise in July of 2017 to the Bahamas (The Jesus Freak Cruise), then right after I went on my first Missions trip to Mexico with the Newsboys. (God's Not Dead Missions- where we get to build cool little houses for the poor) If I had not started doing Airbnb in 2017 I would NOT have been able to go anywhere in 2018. It was because of someone I met on that first cruise that I got a deal on my second which was the K-Love cruise in January of 2018 (To the Bahamas again).
The Bahamas 2017 my first time seeing them although back in the 80s when I lived in Boca Raton my mom and dad took my sister and her bf
The fiesta on the last day in Mexico. (it's four days) They entertain and feed many people! And we help out!
And then the summer of 2018 I drove to California to do the Switchfoot getaway and visit some of my family out there, then I went on the Newsboys Mission trip to Baja California for the second (and probably the last time for me).
I was supposed to go on another K-Love cruise in January of 2019 but because of financial difficulty and not being able to leave my Home business (Airbnb) I sold it to a friend I knew from the Missions trip. Since that trip to California and Mexico I haven't been able to travel much except down to Disney for a few days with a friend. I used to manage our finances and we had good credit which I used for these trips and to pay Page Publisher's to publish, "What Elephant?" also to pay my shady lawyer (Danielle D. D' Eor-Hynes "There is much love for you here" lol) who I had to fire. I also had got a Lowes card which I used for materials and things I needed for this old house. In my divorce settlement I got alimony because I hired a new attorney (who I paid with a credit card account I opened in my name only) who re-filed the paperwork with the court house but I also got these other credit cards that I had to pay off myself- which was fair but also made my debt double from 20K to 40K.
I did some temp jobs but always continued writing: I started renting out rooms in our smaller house that I live in with Airbnb and did that from November 2017 until July 2019. There are numerous reasons I stopped doing Airbnb: some in this blog post and some in that post about Mo. I continued to try for a "regular" job and even drove for Uber and Lyft for a short while. I started doing Airbnb because I couldn't find a "regular" job. What I found really amusing is that Danielle D. D' Eor-Hynes (my shady ex lawyer) COPIED ME and opened her own Airbnb in her home! Perhaps her "real job" isn't going so well?
Red's Airbnb......The shower picture is when I got the 2nd bathroom in working order (January 2018) because the shower and toilet were leaking- so that I no longer had to share a bathroom with my Airbnb guests! Yay! I paid for that with a credit card that I opened in my name only.
My divorce was finally final in September 2018. Now I am planning on selling the house which now belongs to me, paying off my debt and buying an RV to travel around in while I decide on where I want to settle. I'm learning and growing and would like to do more on YouTube and find a literary agent and a real publisher to publish my work!
Please follow me on: