Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Crazy Love- Stupid Lust

Love is patient. I Corinthians 13:4

Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. Ephesians 4:19

I just recently finished reading “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan. Perhaps I’ll blog more about that at a later date. I saw a movie a couple weeks ago, same two words, with the word “stupid” appropriately put in the middle. July 31st was Claire’s 15th birthday and we all were going to see “Captain America” with her on the 30th, but Sarah had already seen it- So Bob and Ian, who refused to see what Bob called “The Crazy Stupid movie” ( My boys are SMART), took Lyd to see “Captain America” and Me, Sarah and Claire saw “Crazy Stupid Movie” uh I mean “Love”. In hindsight, I should have said, “Sorry Sarah but we’re going together to see, ‘Captain America’- just come again”

People have really given that word, “love” a bad rap, I mean it stinks? It’s a battlefield? Now it’s crazy and stupid too! Well, I guess Francis Chan agrees with the crazy part and so do I; God must be CRAZY to love all us STUPID people! The Bible says, “God is Love” (I John4:8) I wrote about the dead poet Charles Bukoski who wrote, “Love is a Mad Dog From Hell” which also isn’t true! They really should have called this movie, “Crazy Stupid Lust” That’s what always makes what they call “love” stink. What’s “love” got to do with it anyways? Right? Cal (Played by Steve Carell) is a great father and has only “been” with his wife, he’s so sweet the babysitter has a crush on him! But enter the stupid wife (really, does she have to be a 44 year old redhead whose been married 25 years?) who wants a divorce because she’s slept with someone at work and she’s having a mid-life crisis. Really?! I wish someone in the movies could have their mid-life crisis without the affair and divorce! Believe me, it can be done….but only with God. He gives us the “fruit of the spirit” and one of those fruits is “Self-control”! Then there’s Jacob (played by Ryan Gosling- yeah, OK he’s very cute), the 30 something womanizer who has to come in to “fix” Cal! Hello!? There was nothing wrong with Cal! OK I know, "nobody's perfect" lets just say his faults are less than his wife's- too bad it doesn't stay that way! So, then Jacob “fixes” him by getting him to sleep with various women. It would have been great if he just dressed him up, got him to start working out, even got him going on a date, but, as usual Hollywood goes too far! I’ve always had trouble with the steamy car scene in “Titanic”! Come on! In 1912? I don’t think so, it would have been more romantic (and realistic) with out that and the nude painting-IMHO, why not paint a picture of Kate Winslet’s beautiful face? There was something that I found amusing and made this crazy movie not totally purpose or moral less (it does have a “moral” as in “the moral of the story” but not “morals” as in “standards”): It was how Hannah (Emma Stone) kept calling Jacob, “the hot guy from the bar” and he says “My name is Jacob” - the tables are turned! How does he like being “objectified” like he does to women? So, Jacob realizes by the end of the movie that all along he wanted what Cal had! And Cal also realizes that what Jacob taught him wasn’t that great, after all. This is really tragic! But, as always, Hollywood really downplays all the bad consequences of wrong choices, in fact they call what God calls “evil” “good” and the “good” is “evil”. In the book of Isaiah God pronounces “woe” to people like that. (Isaiah 5:20) Into everything in this movie that could really be called “love” they insert Satan’s counterfeit: lust. I’ve heard it called “Loves Opposite” which is so true!

Into Cal and Emily’s marriage; infidelity, Cal’s 13 year old son, Robbie is “in love” with the babysitter, Jessica- could be a sweet innocent crush, until she opens his bedroom door unannounced. The babysitter’s “in love” with Cal- at least they tastefully have Cal oblivious to it (even if he was aware of it, it’d probably be best to ignore it), but untastefully she takes nude photos of herself intending to give them to him. This is only because she hears what a “ladies man” stupid Jacob’s turned him into! This is why women succumb to being the pornography- they think that’s what they have to do to get a man’s attention, which is very sad. Neither women nor men should just “settle” for Satan’s counterfeit! Hold out for God’s best for you! Why doesn’t Jessica realize that if he responds to her pornography, that it’s not love and he’ll no longer even be the one she loved. She tells Emily that their kids are the only ones she baby-sits who “want to stay up to see their Dad when he gets home” If he has an affair with the babysitter they’re not going to want to see him at all! Why can’t Jessica just think, “Someday, I want to marry a nice handsome man like Cal”? But, no, Jacob has to step in and ruin him! At least Cal realizes he “messed up” before the movie ends and says to Emily, “I should have fought for you.” But there are no signs of Emily (played by Julianne Moore) ever repenting at all.

Plugged In  says,

“(Cal) realizes his fault in the crumbling marriage and sees that he should have fought like everything for their relationship. He's loved Emily every minute of every day since they were 15, even when he's "hated" her. And through his overly familiar inattention, we see the importance of nurturing a relationship at all stages, with both small gestures and large displays of affection.”

Jessica, the babysitter, does by the end of the movie “give up” on Cal but Robbie doesn’t give up on her and says, “You like my Dad and in a few years I’ll look like him….I’ll wait.” Awwww….wait but….Hollywood HAS TO ruin it: Jessica gives him her nude pictures to “get him through high school” Oh please!!!! Pornography does NOT “get you through” it weakens you! It lures you in deeper and deeper until “having lost all sensitivity, you give yourself over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.” (Ephesians 4:19) I met a woman named Melody, a while ago whose husband was like that, he ended up having numerous affairs and giving her a venereal disease! What struck me about Melody was: she was one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen! She looked like a super model, seriously! So, if you're one of the many women whose husband is addicted to that stuff- don’t think it’s because you’re inferior to the women he’s looking at!

You may ask, “What should Robbie do? While he waits for Jessica?” Well, hopefully she’ll “give up” her “PlayBoy” aspirations! Robbie should play sports, make music, do art, go out in groups, learn about girls by being “friends” with them- protect them by not telling dirty jokes about them and not looking at pornography. Did you know you’re objectifying women when you do that? Did you know that’s what the infamous rapists/serial killers looked at? Men are supposed to honor women as “the weaker vessel” not just use them for their own pleasure. True love does WAIT. Trust God and He will fulfill the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37)

I’ll end this with an appropriate quote from Joni Eareckson Tada’s devotional, “Diamonds in the Dust”- it’s title is “LOVE”S OPPOSITE”

“Many would agree that hate is the antonym of love, but consider this: Lust is love’s opposite….Love can always wait to give, but lust can hardly wait to get. Love is never self–seeking, but lust always places it’s selfish desires first. Love is patient and kind, but lust burns with impatience. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. On the other hand, lust twists the truth and delights in whitewashing evil to make it look acceptable…In fact, if your looking for a definition of lust, flip to I Corinthians 13 and replace the words “lust is not” for “love is”….Is there someone whose time, attention, and affection you crave? Perhaps it’s not a person that you grasp for, but position or power. Desire for someone or something (like a substance?) becomes inordinate when it becomes consuming. So ask yourself this honest question, “How much time in a day do I spend thinking about this person? Or this thing? Or this position?” Also, “Where or to whom do my thoughts drift when my mind is relaxed?”….If an extraordinary amount of time is spent seeking this person or thing in your thoughts, then take the advice of Colossians 3:5, ‘Put to death therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature….impurity, lust, evil desires.’…Lord, I purpose to set my mind on things above, not on earthly things. Reveal those things in my life after which I lust, and then help me to mortify them in my flesh. May my life reflect love, pure and truthful”

Oh, so what's the "Moral of the story"? Lust stinks! True love is patient and never gives up! Just like it says in the Bible!

Oh hey here's some good reading on the subject:
Sex is Not the Problem (Lust Is) by Joshua Harris
(This used to be called "Not Even a Hint")
Every Man's Battle by Steven Arterburn (They also have "Every Young Man's Battle")
Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge (They also have "Every Young Woman's Battle")
For teens: I Kissed Dating Goodbye- by Joshua Harris
Blazing Grace is an excellent website!

The story always goes on. For more on this topic (SEX) we all love to hear about:
Sexual Healing  One Thing: Why I Hate/Love Men Who Holds Your Heart?