Running, Remembering & My Redeemer

                        

Julia Roberts from the movie, "Runaway Bride"


Oh that I had wings like a dove, I’d fly away and be at peace! Indeed, I would wander far off, And remain in the wilderness. I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest. David (Psalm 55:6-8)


This is not what I asked
Not what I prayed for
Are you listening now?
'Cause all that I've built,
All that I've bled for
Is coming undone

But what if it had to be broken
Before my heart could be open?

Maybe the shattered parts
Are the places where Your love starts
And now I am closer to where You are
With every beat of my broken heart
Every Beat of my broken heart .....Hawk Nelson


Writer's block? What's that? What I have is....hmmmmm? What to call it? "Writer's avalanche"? "Writer's overflow"?:


My heart is overflowing with a good theme;
I recite my composition concerning the King;
My tongue is the pen of a ready writer. Psalm 45:1


My mind is a swarm, a runaway pony. I wrote about that before: An Unquiet Mind


My problem is having the time and discipline to sit down and organize my thoughts. Come on Susan! FOCUS! Lord, what should I write? I ask. Is this to blog about? Is this for the book? Sometimes I even say, "Lord, I don't want to tell them THAT, do I have to?" Like some posts I've wrote already, I hesitate to even "share" again! Like can I "delete" that Lord? Or at least let it remain "buried" in my archives. God says, "No, there was a reason I had you write that and you need to REMEMBER"

For instance, He's the King of my heart: The King of Hearts


Vulnerability. Humility. Accountability = Victory! How IRONIC! Another True Story: Oh The Irony!


He loves me!: He Loves You Snow Much More


Stop cliff hanging! Cliff Hangers, Pot Stirrers and the Itsy Bitsy Spider


Bob and I were "meant to be": Love Story



I am forgetful- my kids know this- so they remind me about things they want me to remember. Many times I'll write on my hand what I need to remember; like that I have laundry to put in the washer or dryer, that I have to go to the store or pay a bill etc. It's absolutely terrible when I forget to pick up my kid from somewhere! I mean what kind of mother forgets her child?! This is also in the Bible: Can a woman forget her nursing child, And not have compassion on the son of her womb? Isaiah 49:15

I remember once having three Rs on my hand for; Recycling, Returning the library books and...I can't remember what the third one was. lol


But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, And my Lord has forgotten me.” Isaiah 49:14



A couple Saturdays ago I was hopelessly forlorn (I was crying) and driving on and on into the night. Why?! I forgot....all God has said to me!


I can barely stand right now.
Everything is crashing down,
And I wonder where You are.

I try to find the words to pray.
I don't always know what to say,
But You're the one that can hear my heart.

The Afters, "Broken Hallelujah"



I was listening to the Devil's lies and taunts, "No one cares about you" "Look no one's even calling you or texting you." "Your family doesn't care about you or even misses you and you don't even have any friends" "None of your children respect you. They think you're an idiot" "There's no hope" "You'll never publish a book, ha, your gona go bankrupt" "Your children are mine" The devil is a LIAR. I was also listening to the wrong music which was discouraging me. Yeah, Bob's just gona stand there and watch me burn cause I like the way it hurts! (Rihanna & Eminem). Why am I listening to that?! I drove north and was going to turn around if someone called me, no one called. I got to Marietta and thankfully, "came to my senses" realized my head was in the wrong place, turned around and headed home, thankful that Bob and I are NOT like Rihanna and Eminem otherwise our house would've burnt down long ago!



How can I forget all the wonderful words- That I really believe are from God to me? Why was I in my closet a few weeks ago? Curled up in a ball, crying?


You know the things that have brought me here.
You know the story of every tear.
‘Cause You've been here from the very start.
(The Afters)


Just because my son was smoking cigarettes which reminded me of my brothers. Because I FORGOT the verse He gave me says:

Refrain your voice from weeping,

And your eyes from tears;

For your work shall be rewarded, says the Lord,

And they shall come back from the land of the enemy.

There is hope in your future, says the Lord,

That your children shall come back to their own border. Jeremiah 31:16-17



I feel I can relate to David (see verse above) in the Bible or Jeremiah who was called "The weeping prophet":


See, Lord, how distressed I am! I am in torment within,
and in my heart I am disturbed, for I have been most rebellious. Outside, the sword bereaves; inside, there is only death. Lamentations 1:20


He has hedged me in so that I cannot get out; He has made my chain heavy.
Even when I cry and shout, He shuts out my prayer. He has blocked my ways with hewn stone; He has made my paths crooked. Lamentations 3:7-9


Remember my affliction and roaming, The wormwood and the gall. My soul still remembers And sinks within me. This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. Lamentations 3: 19-21


You know what forgetting about God does to me? It makes me lose my hope! Some years ago I bought some Superman S earrings at Six Flaggs. I didn't buy them because I think I'm super but because there are two S's for "Susan Story" I do strive to do my best at what I do, which is being a good wife and mother. I've been wearing those earrings lately, since seeing the "Man of Steel" movie and hearing that it's not an S- it's a symbol of HOPE.





I've learned something from my night I spent running away. I should've stayed home and read my own blog! Running



Also Seven Steps to Victory: But What if I Stumble? Because this is warfare! Duh!



I did start jogging again when I became stressed. Bob is OK with it, as long as I stretch first and my feet are OK. And when I jog I listen to music, praise music, some secular (positive) music, just the good stuff. I realized that whatever you are struggling with, be it alcohol or drugs, food, sex...if you are "Cliff hanging" (See my post-the link is above) and the crisis comes (The STRESS), there's a good chance of you falling off that cliff! I am thankful that God says He won't let you be tempted beyond what you are able to bear. (I Corinthians 10:13) And He answers my prayer when I say, "God, every time I see that person, I say (or do) the wrong thing and if I'm gona do that Lord, let me NOT see them." Amen. And I'm also glad He forgives me when I mess up. (I John 1:9)



The other night I noticed what I see when I run to the corner is something else I need to remember: THE TREE! Worn and the Seven Story Tree






The Bible has tons to say about what we are to REMEMBER and what we are to FORGET. Here are just a few of the many verses about it:


Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: “For God has made me forget all my toil and all my father’s house.” Genesis 41:51 Note: God later has Joseph purposely REMEMBER "his father's house" yet FORGIVE his brother's for selling him into slavery.(See: Genesis 50)


And you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day. Deuteronomy 8:18


And you forget the Lord your Maker, Who stretched out the heavens And laid the foundations of the earth; You have feared continually every day Because of the fury of the oppressor, When he has prepared to destroy. Isaiah 51:13


Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore. Isaiah 54:4


Can a virgin forget her ornaments, Or a bride her attire? Yet My people have forgotten Me days without number. Jeremiah 2:32


I got this from Francis AnFuso:


Habits That Will Change Your Life

Here are three habits that will change your life: First, come into God’s presence every day. The key to an effective prayer life is to “just show up.” And when you show up, stay there long enough to create a memory. Satan can’t steal a memory of God’s presence. Second, read the Word of God, the Bible, consistently. Ask God to open the eyes of your understanding so that what your head reads, impacts your heart. And number three. Plan your day. List seven things that you’re committed to do today. Why? Because structure creates growth! The Bible says, “…continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of…you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” (2 Timothy 3:14-15, NKJV)



I will delight myself in Your statutes; I will not forget Your word. Psalm 119:16


You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word. Psalm 119:114


When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches,
For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63: 6-8


So on that Sunday morning as the sun was rising, I pulled my sequoia into my garage, went upstairs and went to bed, REPEATEDLY telling myself I needed to FORGET the Devil's lies and REMEMBER MY REDEEMER:


Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”


The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man to bear
The yoke in his youth.

Let him sit alone and keep silent,
Because God has laid it on him;
Let him put his mouth in the dust—
There may yet be hope. Lamentations 3:22-33


Surely they may forget,
Yet I will not forget you.
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
Your walls are continually before Me. Isaiah 49:15-16


For I will contend with him who contends with you,
And I will save your children...

All flesh shall know
That I, the Lord, am your Savior,
And your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob. Isaiah 49:25-26


Broken Person

Why am I always drawn to you?
Cause I'm a broken person too?
Why do I think that I can fix you?
You just hurt me and I hurt you too
Manipulation, lies and games...
I no longer want to play.
I'm learning about myself from day to day
My Great Physician heals all ills
He even created doctors who prescribe pills
He loves you just the way you are
He loves you with all your scars
He was broken for our sin
But you have to let Him in
He can heal your broken heart
But you must give Him every part

For all these poems and more buy my first book! "The Seven Story Tree; A book of Poetry"

The Prodigal

Of course this is all my fault,
Eve had two sons, one killed the other,
She must have been a terrible mother!
Esau was his father's favorite,
But Jacob was a "Mama's boy"
Of course they didn't get along,
Leave them alone and they'll come home,
Jacob did but his mom was gone,
Having favorites is not wise,
Just read about Joseph (Genesis 37:4)
He was despised,
Train them up in the way they should go,
Your work shall be rewarded,
Trust God with them,
He loves them even more than you.
Don't give in to wrong behavior,
Love must be tough.
Show them you love them enough to say, "No"
When they are old they will not depart.
Keep loving Him with all your heart.
God had a prodigal son too,
Didn't you know that son was you!


I wrote a poem later called, "Remember the Redeemer's Rainbow" which goes well with this post; See: Video Bible Study-Storms Part II

LIGHT

You put the light in me, The Spark, the shot to the heart
You are the hope that leads me out of the dark You let Your love shine down So that the world could see You put the light in me…..Brandon Heath

A number of things in my life recently have put “light” on my brain. First off; Bob and I work in Sparks –it’s a part of Awanas. Awanas is a church program for kids where they have fun (like games and stuff) while learning Bible verses. Sparks are the K- 2nd graders and Bob and I are leaders with the 1st graders. The Sparks are represented by “Sparky” the firefly.









There are many verses in the Bible about “light” These in Matthew usually are the first to come to my mind especially as I think of “Sparks” : You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father. Matthew 5:14-16 Part of the “Sparks” song says, “We are sparks to light the world…”

In the Disney movie “Tangled” Rapunzel is drawn away from the evil witch who she thinks is her mother by the lights she sees every year on her birthday. They are lanterns released by her parents who are the King and Queen! You can draw the parallel to Christ (our King) sending out His light of the Gospel to us while we are still in the clutches of the Devil.












For God Who said, Let light shine out of darkness, has shone in our hearts so as [to beam forth] the Light for the illumination of the knowledge of the majesty and glory of God [as it is manifest in the Person and is revealed] in the face of Jesus Christ (the Messiah).However, we possess this precious treasure [the divine Light of the Gospel] in [frail, human] vessels of earth, that the grandeur and exceeding greatness of the power may be shown to be from God and not from ourselves. 2 Corinthians 4:6-7 Amplified












Last Monday morning I didn’t jog, so I jogged that evening. As I jogged around our circle and was headed home I saw the full moon rising and it was beautiful! I was reminded of how the sun is what makes the moon shine, the moon doesn’t make it’s own light. In the same way, we are to reflect God’s light in our lives. It is said that when Moses went up on the mountain and talked with God, when he came down, “his face shone” (Exodus 34:29) “Those who are wise shall shine Like the brightness of the firmament, And those who turn many to righteousness Like the stars forever and ever.” Daniel 12:3





Last Tuesday after I picked up Lydia, I took the recyclables. While I was there I met a really neat lady named Joan and found out she’s Ian’s friend's grandma. She invited me to the monthly “Womens Aglow” meeting which was the very next day. It’s a Charismatic women’s group that meets once a month. It was an awesome meeting, I was late but it was still wonderful.I even made it back to Lydia's school just in time to play my flute for the 1st graders music class! There it was again! The reference to light. These women are “Aglow” with God’s Holy Spirit!


I just finished reading a book by Marilyn Meberg that’s called, “Tell Me Everything; How to heal from the secrets you thought you could never share.” It’s about how it heals us when we’re able to confess our sins and bring them to God (and to a trustworthy person) and receive God's forgiveness. This is step 5 in the 12 steps, by the way and I know many would not agree with this but the 12 steps are in the Bible and they are for EVERYBODY! We are all powerless over the sin in our lives and we all need to surrender to Christ because He is THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAVE US! Not just any (inferior, little, FAKE) “higher power” will do!





He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God. John 3: 18-21

These words from a “Tenth Avenue North” song come to mind:
Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us “Healing Begins” –

Marilyn Meberg talks about Lazarus and says, “Breaking out of our tomb means repenting of our sins. The key to an abundant life in Jesus is to open up our grave of secret (and sometimes not-so-secret) sins, confess them, talk about them, repent of them and let the redeeming light of His love burn away the infection they have caused.”













But the path of the just is like the shining sun, That shines ever brighter unto the perfect day. Proverbs 4:18

I have a journal I got at Hobby Lobby called “Everyday Blessings: Spiritual Refreshment for Women” It has a short note on every page on different subjects. I was just at the page that was titled, “Righteousness” It had the verse above (Proverbs 4:18) Then it said, “God knows where you’re going. As you journey on the road towards God’s purpose and plan for your life, the light of God’s love grows brighter with each step, bringing you closer and closer to Him. The more you know Him, the more quickly you know His will and His ways and can more assuredly step out in faith towards His righteous cause. Your steps are sure because your path is well lit with the goodness of God. You’re on the right path.” I thought that was pretty awesome because it was like “just for me” God can also speak directly to you in any way He chooses. He knows who you’ll listen to, who will grab your attention. The question is: ARE YOU LISTENING? DO YOU WANT LIGHT? OR DO YOU WANT TO STAY IN THE DARK? THE CHOICE IS YOURS.

The word “Light” is in the Bible almost as much as the word, “Peace”! Here are a few of my favorites:

Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. Genesis 1:3

Oh, send out Your light and Your truth! Let them lead me; Let them bring me to Your holy hill And to Your tabernacle. Psalm 43:3

Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path. Psalm 119:105

The people living in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2

Who among you fears the LORD? Who obeys the voice of His Servant? Who walks in darkness And has no light? Let him trust in the name of the LORD And rely upon his God. Isaiah 50:10

He reveals deep and secret things; He knows what is in the darkness, And light dwells with Him. Daniel 2:22

The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. Matthew 6:22

Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops. Matthew 10:27

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

They shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads. There shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light. And they shall reign forever and ever. Revelation 22:4-5






From November on my Mary Engelbreit calendar and it says on the bottom, THERE'S A CRACK IN EVERYTHING-THAT'S HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN. LEONARD COHEN

Here's some other posts about the opposite:
 Trust Him in The Dark
Whose Afraid of the Dark?

William Barclay on the Bible

A short post- just a great quote- for a busy busy month. Ian, Claire, Lydia and Bob are playing soccer and Bob coaches Lydia's team.
I still have to find time for Bible reading- devotions- and prayer because I've learned that it is ESSENTIAL if I even hope to be successful at this "Christian" thing, I can't do it on my own! I gotta have God! I gotta have His word! I gotta pray to be filled up with His Holy Spirit! I still mess up...frequently, just yesterday, last week.....etc. But I'm pressing on and improving which gives me hope!

I was reading this morning in William Barclay’s “Daily Celebration”; “The Book Which Leads To Truth….It is only in the Bible that truth is clearly revealed and clearly seen….The Bible gives us the true view of man….There is no book so realistic as the Bible….the Bible clearly sees man’s high destiny and man’s sad failure; and then the Bible goes on to say that the cure for the situation lies alone in Jesus Christ….The Bible gives us the true view of the world…In parable after parable Jesus shows us the world as the testing ground for eternity….The Bible gives us the true view of God….There was a time when men were terrified of God. But then there came Jesus Christ to say, “He who has seen Me has seen the Father” (John14:9); and men saw that above and beyond all else God is the lover of the souls of men.
Any thinking man is bound to ask three questions: Who am I? What kind of world is this in which I live? Who and what is the power behind the changing scene of things?
If a man will turn to the Bible, he will find these basic questions answered – and answered above all in Jesus Christ.”

I decided to add this poem I wrote to this post:

God Bless this Pile of Books

God bless this pile of books dear Lord,
Of the writing of books there is no end,
I have books on child rearing, marriage, history,
Some fiction I have is pretty gory,
Someone said I should read more holy books,
But I haven’t finished my story,
There are books that tell me how to cook,
How to clean and declutter my little nook,
Books to tell me how to diet,
“Here’s a new one, you should try it.”
I tried to sort them out and then,
The kitty jumps up,
And they all fall down again!
Once I piled them up abit,
On my clock radio just to sit,
The strain was just too much for it!
Stanley, Joni, Joyce and Chuck,
I want to read them all,
But they’ve written way too much!
Then there’s the ones who have gone on,
Peter, Catherine, Murray, Oswald, Tozer,
All their races have been won,
Surely they can teach me while I’m still here,
How to run my race with out fear,
So many books, so little time!
Much study is wearisome to the flesh,
But Solomon I love reading best!
Some day I’ll reach that heavenly library,
I’ll see my brother, Mark up there,
And we can read for all eternity,
Until then I’ll muddle through,
The Great Author will tell me what to do,
What should I read, Lord?
“The one on top” He answers me,
It’s still the best,
It still beats all the rest,
I can use it as my sword,
For it is Your (One and Only) Holy Word!
Seek after wisdom and you’ll find,
God will show you how to use your time!



But about going further [than the words given by one Shepherd], my son, be warned. Of making many books there is no end [so do not believe everything you read], and much study is a weariness of the flesh. Ecc. 12:12 (Amplified)