Dreams Part 1: Sowing and Reaping

 
This is the field of wheat across from Claire Bear's high school where I went Monday to bring them her gifted portfolio.

I've got voices in my head and they are so strong
And I'm getting sick of this oh Lord, how long
Will I be haunted by the fear that I believe
My hands like locks on cages
Of these dreams I can't set free. Tenth Avenue North, "Empty My Hands"

Lately I've been thinking about how my slow progress of; "two steps forward one step back" really annoys me! Lord, why can't I take two steps forward and just skip the one step back!? Like my dieting. I love to tell people I lost 30 lbs in 2008 but I hate having to add, "but I gained 20 of it back"! Or how about keeping my house clean and orderly? I don't think I'm being a good steward of what God's blessed me with when my house is a mess. God is not the author of this confusion! When I get down on my knees and pray and see my dirty carpet and decide to vacuum when I'm done I think perhaps it's true, "Cleanliness IS next to godliness"! And of course there are other things also.

Why do I do this? Well, this condition is not unique to me. In Alcoholics' Anonymous when a previously "dry" alcoholic goes back to drinking it's called "falling off the wagon". In the Bible, especially the Old Testament when the Israelites turned away from the One True God back to worshiping idols it was called, "backsliding":

Why then has this people turned away in perpetual backsliding? They hold fast to deceit; they refuse to return. Jeremiah 8:5

God says to us, “Return, you backsliding children, And I will heal your backslidings.” Jeremiah 3:22

The backslider in heart will be filled with the fruit of his ways, and a good man will be filled with the fruit of his ways. Proverbs 14:14

I have stretched out My hands all day long to a rebellious people, Who walk in a way that is not good, According to their own thoughts...Isaiah 65:2

Earlier this year I finished Joyce Meyer's book, "Change Your Words Change Your Life". It was long ago I read and have since reread Joyce's book, "The Battlefield of the Mind" because to change your words we must first change our thoughts. She also says this in her brand new book, "Making Good Habits- Breaking Bad Habits" . It's a "trickle down effect" that starts in the mind. Ralph Waldo Emerson said it like this:

Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an action and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.

I just saw this on Joyce Meyer's facebook page: Your thoughts become your words; your thoughts become your actions. Your thoughts become your life. 
And the photo below I saw on facebook:

Oswald Chambers asks, "What are you haunted by?" "My Utmost For His Highest" June 2nd

I've been haunted by my past, by my own negative thoughts and those of others.


I've been wondering which way to go. I wrote about this last August.

Which Way Do I Go? It Depends On Who Am I Trying to Please?

I was looking for a job. I wanted to substitute teach, but that didn't work out. Then I was going to maybe clean houses and I thought I had one house to start out with but that fell through. There were suggestions for a weekend job in Perry. But week ends are when your college kids come home. Also Bob doesn't want me to waste gas driving to Perry for minimum wage. Meanwhile, I have so much going on with my kids here at home when I thought about working, even part time I felt over whelmed. I'm writing my book, finally. I've finished the introduction and I'm in chapter 1 which is on faith. I'm also still doing my writing for teens and children correspondence course. Bob had been saying I should go back to school but when these furloughs come that will really cut his pay! So I thought I should wait to go back to school. God will lead me. What am I writing about? Oh yeah FAITH. I figured if God wants me to get a job, He'll give me success in finding one. What have I been writing about in my heart posts?

The King of Hearts
The King of Hearts Part 2: What Would You Ask For?   

Oh yeah OBEDIENCE. Even to Bob?! Lately Bob keeps saying, "Go back to school." I want to take nursing. I said this long ago after I graduated high school barely passing Chemistry because of my undiagnosed BiPolar which was similar to ADHD in the Spring when I was manic, not to mention in mental turmoil over my latest beau (the tall dark and handsome boy next door:). It did not help the Father- daughter relationship much when my dad said something to the effect that you should know Chemistry if you want to be a nurse and it would probably be too hard for me. Mom tried to "save" this by saying something like, "what he meant was, 'it'll be hard but you can do it'" or something like that- Thanks again Mom for trying to clean up Dad's messes but the damage was already done.

Sara Barielles sings,

"Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
And they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins..." ("Brave")

So for years I've struggled with this. Not really had time the past 27 years with raising five kids and all, to go back to school. God called me to writing. God uses the foolish to confound the wise. I don't have to go back to school. Certainly not just to show someone I can. Joyce Meyer didn't go to college. But what if God DOES want me to? I would LOVE to be an obstetric nurse- helping deliver babies would be so cool! But I didn't really like school. I wasn't very good at it. What is that rising up in me? The antithesis to faith: FEAR. Fear of failure, fear that I AM too stupid to be a nurse.

Right now I'm reading, "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. I feel as though Ann's a "kindred spirit" and I love this book! No, I am not the first woman to feel this way. "...all these mornings, I wake to the discontent of life in my skin. I wake to self hatred. To wrestle to get it all done, the relentless anxiety that I am failing. Always the failing.....I live tired. Afraid. Anxious. Weary. Years, I feel it in the veins, the pulsing of ruptured hopes. Would I ever be enough, find enough, do enough?" I read this paragraph to Bob and start to choke up, I can't even say it, read it the words Ann wrote that I feel! I had a disagreement with Bob about school, I thought it was that I don't want to be a nurse anymore- I want to write and Bob doesn't want me to. I went in my closet to pray. God was like, why don't you want to go to school, Susan? I want to write, God. You want me to write. Why are you mad at Bob, Susan? He doesn't want me to pursue my dream of writing. Remember when your dream was to be a nurse? Bob doesn't think you're too dumb to be a nurse. He supports your writing. Who did your website? I went to Bob and apologized. So many have inspired me. Hydi my sidekick in the Peach county soccer concession stand is in nursing school. Brooke's mom, Tracey is a nurse at the Medical Center where Sarah works and then there's Sarah- my own daughter inspires me.



Then, of course there's always Mom. Mom went back to school when she was 50 years old and got a degree in Sociology.



Back in the day- The wonderful 80s. The Electric Light Orchestra sang a song that went like this; "Hold on tight to your dreams...." Mom held on tight to her dreams of keeping my Dad, going back to school and especially the most important one; Seeing her children in heaven.

And God says to us, "Listen to Me, you who follow after righteousness, You who seek the Lord: Look to the rock from which you were hewn, And to the hole of the pit from which you were dug. Look to Abraham your father, And to Sarah who bore you;"  (Isaiah 51:1)

Yes, Mom is the rock from which I was hewn!

I turned my Mary Engelbreit calendar over to June and it had this quote:

You are never too old to set another goal or dream another dream. C.S. Lewis

I have a little fortune from a cookie on my vanity it says: Keep true to the dreams of your youth.


Sometimes I have to distinguish between the voices in my head. Sometimes Satan speaks to me; "What a waste of time trying to help that person was! You really blew it with them. They'll never take to heart anything a hypocrite like you said to them!" Sometimes unknowingly we even speak the devil's words for him! Like my Dad, we discourage people from their God given calling, but we don't even realize we're doing it! Oh be careful little lips what you speak! Hawk Nelson sings a song called "Words"; "Let my words be life, let my words be truth, I don't want to say a word unless it brings the world back to You!" So someone said to me, "It's not up to you to reach that person." Who are you to say that? Are you God? We must be very careful about saying stuff like this! But God said to me, "You've sown a bunch of truth into that person, you've fed them, you've been real in front of them, you've shown them compassion..." Margaret Becker used to sing a song called, "Never for nothing"; "So light your candle in the darkness cause it's never for nothing"

When the devil tries to beat me down with his lies, I more than ever need to run to the Word and God always builds me Up. He never drags me down!






Wow! It's 2015 now and being a nurse? Not sure exactly where that dream stands. If I go back to school- it may be to be a Pastor. The dream of becoming a published author HAS BEEN FULFILLED. Check this out: The Seven Story Tree  

Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work. Do you not say, ‘There are still four months and then comes the harvest’? Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look at the fields, for they are already white for harvest! And he who reaps receives wages, and gathers fruit for eternal life, that both he who sows and he who reaps may rejoice together. For in this the saying is true: ‘One sows and another reaps.’ I sent you to reap that for which you have not labored; others have labored, and you have entered into their labors.” John 4:34-38

So God says, "You've sown, Susan but someone else will reap it" And you know what? I'm OK with that!

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. Galatians 6:7

But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. 2 Corinthians 9:6

Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness....2 Corinthians 9:10


And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint. Galatians 6:9


Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62


"You gave your life for mine, to have me by your side, I won't look back anymore, I am Yours." The Afters

They who sow in tears shall reap in joy and singing. Psalm 126:5

Finally, from another of Mom's favorite devotionals, "God Calling", June 4th:

Courage. That is in itself a sign of progress.


Patience, not only with others, but each of you, with herself


As you see the slow progress upward made by you, in spite of your longing and struggle, you will gain a divine patience with others whose imperfections trouble you.


So on and up. Forward. Patience - Perseverance - Struggle. Remember that I am beside you, your Captain and your Helper. So tender, so patient, so strong.



Today I will......

Praise Him because He is worthy!
Pray because He's listening
Enjoy the life that He's given
Even while you make a livin'
Exercise- Just do it!
Spend time with family,
You never know,
When it will be their time to go,
Write a poem,
Write a song,
It really doesn't take that long
Clean something- make it shine
Be thankful for all that's mine
Read the Bible,
Let God speak to you
Because you really haven't got a clue
Be excellent in all you do
Show love to all
Trust Him
He'll catch you when you fall


For a Season

My resume doesn't look too good down here
Just serving God for 29 years?
But up in Heaven it'll all be clear
Just a cup of cold water
To him who thirsts
You may end up being first
It doesn't matter all you've known
But into whose life you've sown
Compassion, prayer, wisdom
to friends who've come and gone
Some of them may have moved on.
But they'll never forget He was the reason
You showed them love
just for a season...

This poem was inspired by the classic devotional by Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost For His Highest" Oswald asks the piercing question, "What are you haunted by?" and states that we should be haunted by God.

The Haunting

I could just run away,
Try to live my way another day,
But what would be the use?
Wasted time, a wasted life,
But then again,
I could give it all to Him
And He transforms it,
If I turn to the left or to the right,
You're half way there
Or perhaps not quite
I hear Him all the time,
I open my eyes
And He lights up the sky,
In a song I see Him
In a tree He's there
What is this love?
He has for me?
Wherever I go
To a movie or a show,
There isn't a thought He doesn't know,
He is the great I Am,
And yet He is my friend?
It's too wonderful to comprehend,
He'll always be there 'til the end,
When we've been there ten thousand years,
His voice will echo in my ears,
Still His praises I will sing,
Always and forever He is my KING!

Here's the video of me saying that Poem.

For Part 2 On Dreams see, "The Glorious Story"
For Part 3 On Dreams see "Dream Home"
Here is the link to Ann Voskamp's blog: A Holy Experience

Like Mother Like Daughter (2001)

I wrote this for my Mom for Mother's day 2001.


“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30



I don’t know who took this picture, but I guess it was taken about 1947. My mom was about 17 in it. I could ask my mom, but I ‘m not telling her I’m doing this because I want to surprise her. My mom was born August 16, 1929 in the Philippines. She’s not Philipino, her dad was in the army. She was an army brat. My mom married my dad when she was 19 years old. I also married my husband at 19.


In 1999 Mom and Dad celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Although the years were not all “sweetness and light”, my parents relationship had “been through the fire” and they emerged still committed to each other. After all had they not promised “for better or for worse”? In 1951 my oldest brother (Timothy) was born. She had three more sons in ’53 (Mark), ’55 (Christopher), and ’57 (Paul). You bet they were excited to FINALLY have my sister (Rebecca Ellen) on December 30, 1959! My oldest brother was only 8 years old! I have five children but mine are 3 and 4 years apart! There’s a big difference there, if I have to run out to the market to feed this crew, I can leave them with my oldest who is 14. Then mom and dad had another boy in 1963 (Jonathan). I’m very proud and I think Mom is too, to say my brother’s dream to be in law enforcement finally became a reality last year, despite his age. Who would have ever thought when we were growing up watching “Adam 12” that Jon would one day actually be an officer with the L.A.P.D.! I am the “baby”, and 2nd girl,born in 1966.




When I was about seven years old, I can remember waking in the middle of the night. I was gripped with fear. My sister had turned off the light, it was on when I went to sleep. If I could just get to mom’s room I’d be O.K. So I ran down the hall. I never felt safer than right there in between mom and dad. But this soon became a nightly ritual. Mom became weary of her 7th child waking her in the middle of the night. The next night I came to her room she took me down the hall to the family room, we sat down in my dad’s big green chair, I was on her lap- she prayed for me not to be afraid. This also reminds me of myself: how often is prayer the “last resort” when it should be the FIRST thing we do!? Mostly, I wearily tell my children to make a bed on my floor when they come in my room scared at night.


The contest on the Christian radio station said to write about the best advice your mom ever gave you. I asked my mom when my oldest two children were young, “How do I get them to clean up?” Was there a hurricane through here or something? Mom said “You have to help them.” Teaching by example is the best way. My mom had taught me a great lesson by example, although I don’t think she realized it. The lesson was: Forgiveness: In 1978 my parents began having marital trouble, my dad went to North Carolina and was thinking about getting a divorce. We lived in the San Fernando Valley in California. Yeah, I was almost a “Valley girl”. But, thankfully, my parents got back together and my parents, my youngest brother and I moved all the way across the country to Boca Raton, Florida. [my dad worked for IBM, you know I’ve Been Moved?!] This is what Dad wanted. I think my mom still feels some guilt over leaving my sister, then 18, in LA (with her older brothers). But your marriage is MORE important than your children! Because marriage was originally intended to be for LIFE.- “What God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” However, our children are only “loaned” to us for a little while.

The “guilt trip” seems to be a thing we like to send moms on. I recently went on that trip myself. On January 28th I had our 5th child. I was going to nurse her, like my others. I had nursed my other four until they were 2 years old! My precious Lydia Ellen had weighed 10lbs. 1oz., and was starving that first night home! She would nurse, go to sleep and wake up 10 minutes later, by 5 A.M., I was sore. I had been through this before but didn’t give up nursing. That’s me-Martyr Mom. I woke up my husband to go make the sample formula from the hospital. Lydia Ellen is a healthy, happy bottle and breast fed baby. Mom told me not to let anyone make me feel guilty. However the “Pediatric Nurse Practitioner” said to me “nursing is still the best thing for them”. This woman is pregnant with her third and was criticizing this homeschooling mother of five! I later thought “Well the BEST thing for them is staying home with them for the first three years of life, who’s watching YOUR children while YOU pursue YOUR career?” I know a woman who just had her 6thchild the same week I had Lydia. Tina’s little “sweetie pie”, Jordan, has cleft palate. It is IMPOSSIBLE for him to nurse! Yet, STILL Tina was sent on “mom’s guilt trip”. Why? I think we’ve “strained out a gnat and swallowed a camel” in this country when it’s O.K. for one million woman to “choose” to kill their children by abortion every year but “God forbid” you bottle fed!!! If you have been a victim of “choice” and had an abortion or talked someone into one please know that there is forgiveness and healing in Jesus. I highly recommend the book “I’ll Hold You in Heaven” by Jack Hayford.


With all that said I’ll get down off my “soap box” and get back to my mother: Things went well in Boca for about 3 years. Then my dad “went off” again. Despite what my Dad says all the evidence points to Bipolar Disorder [Manic-Depression]. He seems a totally different person when he's in his "high" moods. He was unfaithful to my mom. I was an idealistic teenager and mad at him. I wanted mom to divorce him because she had biblical grounds [Matt.5:32]. She said “I promised to love him ‘in sickness and in health’ and he’s sick”[Mental Illness]. My mom didn’t sign the divorce papers and my dad eventually “came to his senses” and came back to her. I wish that was the last time he did that but it wasn’t : he did it again in 1994, however he didn’t have an affair this time. After he came back, my mom told him I was still hurt about before and he later apologized for what he did when I was a teenager and reassured me that it wasn’t going to happen to mom again. When I was a teenager and mad at dad my mom told me a story to appease my anger: Dad was supposed to go for a vasectomy after my brother, Jon was born but chickened out, then I came along. It did help, a little, but I needed to forgive him regardless.




Mom and I in the 80s when I was a teenager






Let me tell you about my husband. His name is Bob and he is a wonderful husband and father when he’s around. Bob is an electronics engineer at Warner Robins Air Force Base, here in Warner Robins Georgia . They say you marry someone like your father. The longer I’ve been with Bob [married since 1986] the more I realize how much like my dad he is! They’re both smart: my dad was a technical writer with IBM , frugal and not big on praise because both their fathers weren’t big on praising them. Would Bob be unfaithful to me, like my dad was unfaithful to my mom? And if he was, would I be able to forgive him and take him back, like mom did? I am glad to say Bob hasn’t been unfaithful to us, at least not the way my dad was.


In 1997 we had been looking for a bigger house. We were a family of six then. Bob bought an investment house for us to rent out. But WE needed a bigger house. Then my friend Becky and I found one-it was perfect! Four bedrooms, 21/2 baths , a pool and a workshop! All for the low, low price of $119,000. Bob didn’t really like the house and said we couldn’t afford it. I was very upset and we fought about this house for many weeks. Finally, I had to “submit” to my husband . I struggled often trying to homeschool my head-strong daughter [where does she get that from?], then 10, who wanted her own room! I had taken her to see “the house”, that was a mistake! Sarah and I BOTH had to “give it up”! Bob wanted to build. I said to him ; “They say you have to have a very strong marriage to build a house frankly, I don’t think our marriage is strong enough.” I was homeschooling our children then and I still am. I had wanted Bob to take more time to help me with homeschooling , instead he would be spending less and less time with all of us. I knew Bob would want to do much of the work himself, to save money. He had started on a shed in 1995 and just finished it, how long would a house take him? Once again I had to submit much like mom reluctantly moving across the country away from her “babies”. My parents had moved back to California [Arroyo Grande] in ‘95. Mom wasn’t real “keen” on us building either. Her and Dad wanted us to move out there near them. In the fall of 1998 we bought land in Byron, Ga. across the street from where our friends had just built their house. Bob was already consumed with “the house”. We were looking at many house magazines, plan books etc. But Bob had “analysis paralysis”, so my friend Becky and I called and ordered the house plans. Bob called and changed them. We finally “broke ground” in June 1999, right before going to Ca. for my parents Anniversary. We had applied for and received a building loan for $160,000. The builder we hired said it could be done by October of that year! The builder is gone and it’s STILL not done! It has been a rough two years! I felt this house was Bob’s “other woman” and I was growing to hate “her” more everyday! In April of last year (2000) I met a [handsome] young man and I told him that my husband and I were building a house. He said he knew a couple that started building a house and then divorced. I thought “Yeah, that’s where we’re headed.” But Bob and I had decided we would always “work things out” and divorce would NOT be an option. This young man I met also met my then 3 year old daughter and he said she was “pretty”. “Like mother, like daughter, right?” I thought. Would “someone else” pay more attention to me and the children? Mom could have found “someone else”. She is a beautiful woman , despite her endless battle [like mine] to lose weight! I’ve also been blessed with Mom’s “photographic memory”: wasn’t there something in those vows I said 14 years ago about “forsaking ALL others” [no matter how handsome]? I realized that Satan was out to destroy my marriage much like he tried to ruin my parents and this was ONLY the beginning. But God had blessed me with yet another trait of mom’s: TENACITY.

In May of 2000, I found out I was pregnant. [by my husband, in case you were wondering] This would be our 5th child. I was so happy! FINALLY something I wanted! Bob wasn’t sure we should have any more children. “Now he HAS TO finish the house in 9 months!” I told my friends. Well, he didn’t. I was also very ill all Summer because of my pregnancy. We had checks bounce and big credit card bills because of all the house expenses. I had wanted our baby to be a boy. My mom had told my sister that boys were easier to raise. My sister who doesn’t have any children, yet, thought this was ridiculous. “She may be right” I said. My girls, then 13 and 3 [both are head-strong!] were giving me the most challenges then. I began taking a poll: The overwhelming majority of mom’s with both boys and girls say the boys ARE easier! My friend who is the mother of 8, expecting her 9th [yes, they’re Catholic] said “the girls were fussier from birth and seem to challenge our authority more.” Right down to even having worse “morning sickness” with the girls! Then, very queasy, I thought “Maybe this baby’s a girl?” In September we found out by ultrasound that “baby” is indeed a girl. So Bob and I named her Lydia Ellen-FINALLY something we agreed on? When I told mom baby’s middle name, she cried. In August we had put our oldest daughter in public school out where we’re building. The house was “almost done” anyways. It’s been “almost done” for a year now! I accidentally told the school board we weren’t living in their county yet. So they kicked Sarah out of school! I’m homeschooling my challenging daughter again. I think I appreciate a little more what mom went through raising my sister and I! Even Dr Dobson said “There’s something about mothers and daughters”. Mom and I haven’t always gotten along great, do any mothers and daughters? That doesn’t mean I don’t love and respect her, though.

Mom holding Ian. 1993


In early 1996 my mom had a blood clot go to her lung. She was in the hospital for longer than she had ever been before. This [blood clot in her lung] enlarged her heart. Now she is on oxygen 24 hours a day. Mom always came out here when I had a baby, but our house wasn’t done and we’re short on space. She hasn’t seen her name sake yet. Lydia Ellen has big blue eyes much like mom’s! Mom and dad are also very burdened about my brother in Arizona. He’s been in jail over a year , awaiting trial. My parents were going to come for Easter, surely the house would be done then? It wasn’t. There was a hearing in Arizona, so my parents went there for that. This was physically and emotionally draining for them. I called them on Easter and spoke to mom about it. Summer is so hot here, she said they could come in the Fall. Then I had an idea- “Mom, you want me to bring Lydia there?” She cried again, that meant “yes”. We were to leave on the 16th , but things didn’t work out. I trust that Mom and I will get together soon, though. Some years ago mom gave me a book mark with a poem on it entitled “A Christian Mother” by Ramona K. Cecil. It was supposed to be about me. But I believe it is about her especially the last line which says “Her children love and bless her, and in their lives we see the lessons of the Savior that were learned at Mother’s knee.”





Mom and Dad came in October 2001


This one gets me every time!

Like My Mother Does

Praise the Name of Jesus

Lord, we praise Thee.                                 

Praise is the devil's death knell.  “God Calling” May 30th

 We signed up for one of those deals where you get it for so many weeks for free, then when you forget to cancel it, you have to pay. We had one of those little screens, separate from the phone and it was on my bedside table. It looked something like this:

This was at our old house in Warner Robins before Lydia was born. Claire was little and  it was around the same time that I was leading a "Weigh Down Workshop" in our home. This was a Christian weight loss seminar that went wrong. The lady who heads it, Gwen Shamblin turned it into to an aberrant "Christian" cult.

Back then she (Gwen Shamblin) had not turned it into a cult yet and her "ministry" was bearing much good fruit, people were losing weight and being set free from addictions etc. I had had a couple of women who came to my house every week to watch her videos. Like so many other Bible teachers and preachers she likened our "journey" to freedom to the Israelite's journey through the desert to the Promised Land in the Bible. Two years in a row I even went to her conference in Nashville, Tenn!

We had started looking for a new house also, at that time. This was before Bob decided to build a house.So in the midst of my busy, busy life (homeschooling 4 kids etc)- one night I had a dream; Bob and I were walking through a house and we were "driving the demons out of it". As we walked through the house, we sang,

Praise the name of Jesus

Praise the name of Jesus

He's my rock, He's my fortress

He's my deliverer

In Him will I trust....
Praise the name of Jesus

I looked out the window and all I saw was sand...... Then I awoke to the phone ringing...Bob was in the kitchen getting ready to go into work, so he answered it. I called to him and asked, "Who was that?" He replied, "Wrong number....they asked for Brother Smith"

It was one of those times, again, that I knew what the dream meant immediately. Your "house" often represents your body- the sand was the desert and lets just say we all battle our own "demons"- right? I felt that God was saying I would get victory/freedom/deliverance from my bondages from praising Him.

There are many places in the Bible where God's people win battles by simply obeying and praising God. Moses and the people escape from the Egyptians (Exodus 14-15) Joshua brought down the walls of Jericho. (Joshua 6) Gideon defeated the Midianites. (Judges 7). Once we had a cat I named Jehoshaphat (We did call him "Josh" for short though). I named him that because of the story in 2 Chronicles 20: Jehoshaphat King of Judah is told, “A great multitude is coming against you from beyond the sea, from Syria; and they are in Hazazon Tamar” (verse 2).  Jehoshaphat prays to God: "......For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You." (Verse 12)

And Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground, and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem bowed before the Lord, worshiping the Lord.  Then the Levites of the children of the Kohathites and of the children of the Korahites stood up to praise the Lord God of Israel with voices loud and high. 2 Chronicles 20:18-19

  

Jehoshaphat stood and said, “Hear me, O Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem: Believe in the Lord your God, and you shall be established; believe His prophets, and you shall prosper.” And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed those who should sing to the Lord, and who should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army and were saying:

“Praise the Lord, For His mercy endures forever.”

 Now when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushes against the people of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah; and they were defeated. 2 Chronicles 20: 20-22

From "Christian thoughts and speaking" (A Facebook page):
Remember, a sacrifice of praise is when it costs you something, when you don’t necessarily feel like doing it. Praise Him, not because of how you feel, but because He is worthy. Praise Him in your midnight hour and get ready to embrace the freedom He has planned for you...

From; “I am a Woman of God” (Another Facebook page)

These are the 3 important things; the secret so you can do what Moses has commanded to God’s people. Yes you need these three important weapons to overcome the impossible.
• PRAYER
• POWER OF GOD and HIS WORD
• PRAISE AND WORSHIP

Start your day and end your day with these weapons and you will find that the impossible for man is absolutely possible in Christ!

And Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation (deliverance) of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace."-Exodus 14:13-14

And I lifted my groggy head and looked at the Caller ID. I thought I was still dreaming, for it said: DELIVERANCE TABERNACLE.

The Lord is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation; He is my God, and I will praise Him; My father’s God, and I will exalt Him. Exodus 15:2

I will lift up the cup of salvation and deliverance and call upon the name of the Lord. Psalm 116:13

I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

 I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies. Psalm 18:1-3 


Sing praise to the LORD, you His godly ones, And give thanks to His holy name.---Psalm 30:4  

Seven times a day I praise you  for your righteous laws.  Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.  Psalm 119:164-165

Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth,  and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:9-11 

It wasn't until we moved to Byron and had to go over to the North side of Warner Robins that I discovered exactly where "Deliverance Tabernacle" is because we would pass it on our way to North Davis Drive. It's on Elberta Road. Today (November 22, 2013) Bob called me to bring my sequoia to a tire place he was at on N Davis, so I drove by it and I saw this sign!

Are you in a battle? Or going through a storm? 
Why not try praising the name of Jesus?  See:
Video Bible Study: Storms Part 1

Here I am playing it on my flute

 Here's that song in song! I love it!

Raise The Banner 20:17- Audio Adrenalin

Joy

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18: 1-4







Papa Elf: "And where do the reindeer get their magic from?"
Buddy: "Christmas spirit, everybody knows that."
Papa Elf: "Well, silly as it sounds, a lot of people down south don't believe in Santa Clause."

Papa Elf: "And every year less and less people believe in Santa Clause. I mean we have a real energy crisis on our hands."
Buddy: "Oh."
Papa Elf: "I mean just see how low the clausometer is."
Buddy: "That's shocking."

The movie, Elf with Will Ferrell has become one of our most favorite Christmas movies. The kids even made snow flakes and paper chains to decorate our living room like Buddy (Elf) does in the movie.

It seems all the great classic Christmas movies have a similar theme, whether it’s A Christmas Carol, A Wonderful Life or A Miracle on 34th Street someone concludes life is better with faith, hope & love.





 

Even The Grinch decides; “Maybe Christmas….doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”




Buddy the Elf epitomizes child-like faith. Of course you know I’m not going to suggest you believe in Santa or even trust the people around you because even the best of them will fail you. However, Jesus said if you humbled yourself as a child and trusted Him you would be greatest in the kingdom. (verse above)

Walter: "So, go on."
Buddy: "Go on with what?"
Walter: "Are... Are you gonna sing a song or something or can I just go back to work?"
Buddy: "A song? Uh, yeah. Anything for you, dad. (starts singing) Um, I'm... I'm here with my dad. And we never met. And he wants me to sing him a song. And, um, I was adopted. But you didn't know I was born. So I'm here now. I found you, daddy. And guess what? I love you. I love you. I love you!"
Walter: "Wow, that was weird."



Buddy has unconditional love for his newly discovered, "daddy", even though his dad rejects him at first, that doesn’t stop Buddy from continuing to reach out to him. At one point Buddy’s brother Michael, says to his dad, "Buddy cares about everyone, all you care about is yourself." So, of course, in the span of just a few weeks his dad has a change of heart just like Scrooge and the Grinch. Things in movies have a way of working out in 90 minutes, but in real life they may take a little longer. So, I say we should love God and those around us and trust God with the outcome. I’ve heard it said you can have JOY, if you put Jesus first then Others and then, lastly, Yourself.








Gimbel's Manager: "Why are you smiling like that?"
Buddy: "I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite."

My quotes came from: Moviewavs

Tenth Avenue North "Healing Begins"

This one also goes with my "Light" post.....

LIGHT

You put the light in me, The Spark, the shot to the heart
You are the hope that leads me out of the dark You let Your love shine down So that the world could see You put the light in me…..Brandon Heath

A number of things in my life recently have put “light” on my brain. First off; Bob and I work in Sparks –it’s a part of Awanas. Awanas is a church program for kids where they have fun (like games and stuff) while learning Bible verses. Sparks are the K- 2nd graders and Bob and I are leaders with the 1st graders. The Sparks are represented by “Sparky” the firefly.









There are many verses in the Bible about “light” These in Matthew usually are the first to come to my mind especially as I think of “Sparks” : You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father. Matthew 5:14-16 Part of the “Sparks” song says, “We are sparks to light the world…”

In the Disney movie “Tangled” Rapunzel is drawn away from the evil witch who she thinks is her mother by the lights she sees every year on her birthday. They are lanterns released by her parents who are the King and Queen! You can draw the parallel to Christ (our King) sending out His light of the Gospel to us while we are still in the clutches of the Devil.












For God Who said, Let light shine out of darkness, has shone in our hearts so as [to beam forth] the Light for the illumination of the knowledge of the majesty and glory of God [as it is manifest in the Person and is revealed] in the face of Jesus Christ (the Messiah).However, we possess this precious treasure [the divine Light of the Gospel] in [frail, human] vessels of earth, that the grandeur and exceeding greatness of the power may be shown to be from God and not from ourselves. 2 Corinthians 4:6-7 Amplified












Last Monday morning I didn’t jog, so I jogged that evening. As I jogged around our circle and was headed home I saw the full moon rising and it was beautiful! I was reminded of how the sun is what makes the moon shine, the moon doesn’t make it’s own light. In the same way, we are to reflect God’s light in our lives. It is said that when Moses went up on the mountain and talked with God, when he came down, “his face shone” (Exodus 34:29) “Those who are wise shall shine Like the brightness of the firmament, And those who turn many to righteousness Like the stars forever and ever.” Daniel 12:3





Last Tuesday after I picked up Lydia, I took the recyclables. While I was there I met a really neat lady named Joan and found out she’s Ian’s friend's grandma. She invited me to the monthly “Womens Aglow” meeting which was the very next day. It’s a Charismatic women’s group that meets once a month. It was an awesome meeting, I was late but it was still wonderful.I even made it back to Lydia's school just in time to play my flute for the 1st graders music class! There it was again! The reference to light. These women are “Aglow” with God’s Holy Spirit!


I just finished reading a book by Marilyn Meberg that’s called, “Tell Me Everything; How to heal from the secrets you thought you could never share.” It’s about how it heals us when we’re able to confess our sins and bring them to God (and to a trustworthy person) and receive God's forgiveness. This is step 5 in the 12 steps, by the way and I know many would not agree with this but the 12 steps are in the Bible and they are for EVERYBODY! We are all powerless over the sin in our lives and we all need to surrender to Christ because He is THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAVE US! Not just any (inferior, little, FAKE) “higher power” will do!





He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God. John 3: 18-21

These words from a “Tenth Avenue North” song come to mind:
Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us “Healing Begins” –

Marilyn Meberg talks about Lazarus and says, “Breaking out of our tomb means repenting of our sins. The key to an abundant life in Jesus is to open up our grave of secret (and sometimes not-so-secret) sins, confess them, talk about them, repent of them and let the redeeming light of His love burn away the infection they have caused.”













But the path of the just is like the shining sun, That shines ever brighter unto the perfect day. Proverbs 4:18

I have a journal I got at Hobby Lobby called “Everyday Blessings: Spiritual Refreshment for Women” It has a short note on every page on different subjects. I was just at the page that was titled, “Righteousness” It had the verse above (Proverbs 4:18) Then it said, “God knows where you’re going. As you journey on the road towards God’s purpose and plan for your life, the light of God’s love grows brighter with each step, bringing you closer and closer to Him. The more you know Him, the more quickly you know His will and His ways and can more assuredly step out in faith towards His righteous cause. Your steps are sure because your path is well lit with the goodness of God. You’re on the right path.” I thought that was pretty awesome because it was like “just for me” God can also speak directly to you in any way He chooses. He knows who you’ll listen to, who will grab your attention. The question is: ARE YOU LISTENING? DO YOU WANT LIGHT? OR DO YOU WANT TO STAY IN THE DARK? THE CHOICE IS YOURS.

The word “Light” is in the Bible almost as much as the word, “Peace”! Here are a few of my favorites:

Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. Genesis 1:3

Oh, send out Your light and Your truth! Let them lead me; Let them bring me to Your holy hill And to Your tabernacle. Psalm 43:3

Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path. Psalm 119:105

The people living in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2

Who among you fears the LORD? Who obeys the voice of His Servant? Who walks in darkness And has no light? Let him trust in the name of the LORD And rely upon his God. Isaiah 50:10

He reveals deep and secret things; He knows what is in the darkness, And light dwells with Him. Daniel 2:22

The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. Matthew 6:22

Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops. Matthew 10:27

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

They shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads. There shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light. And they shall reign forever and ever. Revelation 22:4-5






From November on my Mary Engelbreit calendar and it says on the bottom, THERE'S A CRACK IN EVERYTHING-THAT'S HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN. LEONARD COHEN

Here's some other posts about the opposite:
 Trust Him in The Dark
Whose Afraid of the Dark?

Visiting Mom’s

Yesterday’s Facebook status: Dad; “All my stuff is out of there now. It’s all painted, there’s new flooring, it doesn’t look like the same place….” I had a good conversation with him but he was oblivious to my tears! I can no longer return to “Mom’s” :-(

In that mysterious place between wakefulness and dreams I found myself at Mom’s. “It’s not different at all” I thought, “It’s exactly the same!” I walked in the door, there’s the sofas the same way, same carpet, same china cabinet, my senior picture on the hallway wall next to Becky’s , Chris’ and Jon’s. The irony about that was; they were hung there when they moved in the house in ’95 before we lost Paul (2002), Tim (2005) and Mark (2006)- there were just us four left hanging there. Tim and Paul had photos hanging on different walls in the house- Mark rarely got his photo taken, though.

All the sudden I hear a familiar voice, “Sue, can you come in here…I want to talk to you.” My heart skipped a beat, “Mom!” I wanted to give her a big hug, but was unable. “Not yet, Susan, we’ll be able to do that later.” Mom was in the kitchen baking, a wonderful aroma rose from the oven. “Mom you look great!” Kinda like looking in a mirror, she was younger looking than I had remembered ever seeing her. “Yeah, I’m finally at my goal weight!” “And your baking!” “Yes, lemon Meringue pie” “Ohhhh my favorite”

“Mom why am I here?”
“God thought you needed some reminders…..Susan, you will always remember our house, it doesn’t matter that it’s different now….You would not believe the places I’ve been up here!”
“Where have you been?”
 “Europe, South America, Africa, New Zealand….”
“Really Mom?”
“Yes, and different times also, Susan…..the house in Sunland the way it was when we lived there so long ago…Tim, Mark, Paul and I went there last Christmas.”
“Wow Mom really?”
“Susan, this Place is awesome you really have no idea, you wouldn’t believe all the things I’ve been doing! I didn’t go to Europe with Dad but I went with my Dad!”
“Really Mom?”
 “Yeah and Tim, Mark and Paul came too. We had a great time!”
 “Grandma didn’t go?”
“She already went and you know she was always a ‘home body’”
“Is Grandma's house Here too?”
“Of course, every place is Here.”
 “Wow, that’s cool”
“So Mom what do you think of Ninnette?” (my Step Mom)
“I think she’s great…that’s why I picked her.”
“You picked her?”
 “Yes”
 “Well, I guess that explains a lot” Mom smiles.

“So do you have any more advice for me Mom?”
 “Yes, I do….Remember what you write, Susan, you have to ‘live it’ also, otherwise it’s useless and it’ll all burn up”,
 “Like in I Corinthians 3?”
 “Exactly…and Susan don’t give ALL your secrets away. Sometimes Jesus even said to people, ‘See that you tell no one’”
“OK Mom. I’ll try to do better”
 “Don’t ‘try’ Susan…trust…trust Him…He won’t steer you wrong…He wants you to have victory, remember that. He has some great plans in store for all of you”(Jeremiah 29:11)
“That’s great to hear, Mom, Thanks and Happy Mother’s Day!”
“And to you too Susan”
“Bye Mom!”
“Good bye, Susan, we will see you again!”